Be the Designer of Your Life
Key Practice #1 - Life Purpose
Open to your Life Purpose and your desire to thrive; reveal the amazing person you were born to experience.
The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.
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Even if we have done some deep soul searching, who we think we are and what we think we desire are highly influenced by what we have learned. We learn about life from our family, our educational system, our social groups, and our society. For most of us, we have some level of awareness of our hearts’ desires. Yet this awareness is constantly challenged by the cycle of everyday life. Within our learning and experience of life is often developed a ‘should’ self; who and what we think we ‘should’ be. This is often a nice picture of good and virtuous things, and some of it may resonate with our true desires for life. However, it is often self-judging and does not align with our deepest desires for self-expression.
How can we uncover and begin to follow our hearts’ desires to
thrive in ways that are sustainable and support our minds’ needs to survive? That is a big, multi-part question, and we’ll go through each part as we move through the Five Key Practices. Let’s dive into the first part of the question.
How can we uncover and begin to follow our hearts’ desires to
thrive in ways that are sustainable and support our minds’ needs to survive? That is a big, multi-part question, and we’ll go through each part as we move through the Five Key Practices. Let’s dive into the first part of the question.
Uncovering Our Hearts’ Desires
One effective way to begin communicating and listening to our hearts is by quieting our minds and bodies. Then we can allow any protective armor or false masks to fall away. From the time we were children our minds and bodies have recorded and stored all of our lessons and tips for survival. This includes putting on daily armor or masks so we might feel safer and more acceptable to ourselves and others. Unfortunately, this hides our full authenticity from ourselves and others. It is part of our ‘should’ self. As much inner work as we may have completed, letting go of this survival mechanism can be a daily battle; or a daily practice depending on our perspective.
It may ease our conscious minds to recognize that, until we learn to walk on water and pass through walls, some of the survival tools we have learned are helpful to us. They have gotten us to where we are in life. Still, many of our survival tools fall into the category of limiting and no-longer-useful. Having a regular meditation or guided imagery practice is very helpful for opening our hearts.[1] Following is an exercise to support you. By journaling with it regularly, you can create and maintain an open line of communication with your heart.
It may ease our conscious minds to recognize that, until we learn to walk on water and pass through walls, some of the survival tools we have learned are helpful to us. They have gotten us to where we are in life. Still, many of our survival tools fall into the category of limiting and no-longer-useful. Having a regular meditation or guided imagery practice is very helpful for opening our hearts.[1] Following is an exercise to support you. By journaling with it regularly, you can create and maintain an open line of communication with your heart.
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An exercise like this, that opens to your heart, may cause your mind to retreat to fight-or-flight mode.[2] Your mind might label this exercise, and others to follow, as silly or worthless. In this way it is protecting itself by staying in a space of what it knows. If you feel resistance, ask yourself what is wrong with being silly and playing along. Let your mind know that you are safe, and it doesn’t need to protect you right now. If you are thinking you have completed an exercise like this a dozen times already, ask yourself if you’re the same person you were the last time you checked in with your heart.
Breaking through the survival mechanisms of the subconscious mind can be a challenge for anyone. Working with an experienced mentor or Intentional Journey Coach in a safe atmosphere can help. Lifting the veil of inauthenticity, and revealing and accepting all of ourselves, is the way to uncovering what rests deep within our hearts. In this way we can journey through our emotional shelters and learned behaviors and unveil all of ourselves, to ourselves, at the core.
Breaking through the survival mechanisms of the subconscious mind can be a challenge for anyone. Working with an experienced mentor or Intentional Journey Coach in a safe atmosphere can help. Lifting the veil of inauthenticity, and revealing and accepting all of ourselves, is the way to uncovering what rests deep within our hearts. In this way we can journey through our emotional shelters and learned behaviors and unveil all of ourselves, to ourselves, at the core.
Visioning a Life We Love
With a playful and curious mind we can begin to explore and document a vision that makes our hearts beat and our eyes shine. What opens us to playfulness, fun, hope, and compassion? Following are some of the questions that can be helpful to work with, meditate on, and journal about.
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Exploring Our Value and Values
We can be blind to our own greatness. Often the things that come the most easy and natural to us, and what others most value in us, go unrecognized and underutilized. The next exercise is to connect with at least five people we trust for their wise insights and their ability to truly see us. They can be family, friends, clients, or colleagues, or a mentor or coach. Connect in whatever way you feel most comfortable: email, phone, in person, social media, or even an old fashioned letter. Ask them these questions:
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Please be sure to thank and honor people for their time, caring and authenticity. Then share what you value about them. Ensure you keep a record in your journal of your conversations. Then take time to sit quietly or meditate with your notes and explore them more. What others see in us is a glimpse into our value, and what we see in them is a glimpse into our values. Write down other things you value or admire about others or yourself in terms of career, relating, spirituality, or other aspects of life that are important to you.
The consequence of not working through this Practice and those that follow can mean a continued experience of life as who we think we ‘should’ be. It can mean routine, unfulfilling days filled with pervading feelings of dullness, frustration, sadness, or loneliness. It can mean not uncovering our greatest gifts and talents we have come to express and share in this lifetime.
The consequence of not working through this Practice and those that follow can mean a continued experience of life as who we think we ‘should’ be. It can mean routine, unfulfilling days filled with pervading feelings of dullness, frustration, sadness, or loneliness. It can mean not uncovering our greatest gifts and talents we have come to express and share in this lifetime.
GO TO: Key Practice #2 - Learned Skills
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Footnotes
[1] David E. Bresler, MD. Free Yourself from Pain. (Mill Valley, CA: Awareness Press, 1999), https://isbnsearch.org/isbn/9781929295005. [2] Anita R. Howard, PHD. Coaching to Vision Versus Coaching to Improvement Needs: A Preliminary Investigation on the Differential Impacts of Fostering Positive and Negative Emotion. (Frontiers Media: Frontiers in Psychology, April 24, 2015), https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00455/full. |
Table of Contents Links
Introduction .................................... 0 Life Purpose .................................... 1 Learned Skills .................................. 2 Integrative Discovery ..................... 3 Experiential Behaviors ................... 4 Supportive Environment ................ 5 |
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