There is so much emphasis throughout our lives on competition and winning . . . school, sports, work, siblings, even social interaction. My five-year-old son is already highly competitive.
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As a systems engineer and manager for nearly twenty years, being highly competitive, logical, and rational served me well in many ways. My teams 'won' many arguments in this vein. Part of my experience of self feels right and justified in being this way. It was a path of righteousness that trumped happiness.

Maybe it shouldn't come as a huge surprise to me as I catch myself acting competitive and hyper-rational with the person I love and care about the most. The number one person on my life team - my spouse!
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In reflecting over the latter part of my corporate career as a consultant, I can see where I was magically successful in unraveling confrontations and cultivating creative solutions by tapping into the emotional needs of people. Thank goodness I have an alternative awareness to lean into. I can see hope for me yet, in translating this into how I do life intimately.

The question now . . . what to do with this awareness . . . keep practicing, keep praying, keep asking for forgiveness, and keep growing.​

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